We're Here. Now what?

~Sarah~

This is a shared blog. Kevin and I will both post on it (though undoubtedly there will be many more posts from me than from him). This is strictly about our journey in ministry. Right now that journey has led us to IHOP-KC. From here, who knows? But it's not just a journey to a great ministry or even to the promises God has given us for our future. It's a journey into His heart. For day to day chit chat information, check out my livejournal (sarwrite). For the here and now heart stuff, this is the place.

So, we're here. I'd say finally, but it hasn't been a long enough journey yet to say that. It was more like suddenly. One day I was painting with balloons amongst 20 preschoolers. Then I blinked, and everything was different. I'm sitting next to my husband learning about how the Bridal Paridigm surfaces in the book of Ruth. I'm in Bible School... if you remember that was where I wanted to be years ago.

I'm overjoyed to be here. That is not an overstatement, not mere platitude. My heart wells up within me and I find myself crying all the time. Out of pregnancy hormones, sure, but mostly out of sheer gratitude. God loves me so much He would call me away with Him. The affections of His heart cause mine to feel like it's about to burst.

This place is amazing. I don't want to idolize IHOP. There have to be many places like this around the world. It's just the first time I've experienced anything like it. Community I mean. Real, true community. Not commradery. Not a friendly environment. Community. One of my fears was that we were moving away from family and we'd be raising Hadessah (and the new baby) alone. I was so, so wrong. Not that there won't be times when I'm lonely. But we are living and breathing in a community of people that have already come along side us. We have people asking daily if they can walk Hadessah around the prayer room. Some people ask if they can hold her. Yesterday some random lady just came and took her out of my arms and walked with her. I didn't mind. We're family and that's what families do. We've gotten offers from people wanting to babysit. I leave the multipurpose room sneezing to go to the bathroom. I come out and there's a lady right there, asking me if it's okay that she pray for my allergies. Everyone smiles. They are happy we're here. We haven't experienced any deep friendships yet. We've only been here a couple weeks and those things take time. And effort. But I feel like I'm among friends. I don't feel like an outsider. If you know me, most of my life I've felt like an outsider. This is so new to me, and I'm so very grateful.

Something I'm having to check my spirit on is the whole sphere of rules. They have them here. There were four people in the prayer room in St. Louis. I walked around barefoot, spralled out on the chairs, made myself comfortable. Here you're not allowed to walk around the prayer room barefoot. They have a shoes/socks/slippers required policiy. You're not supposed to lay down on the chairs. The sanctuary really is water only. There is a specific order and method to the Harp and Bowl model. It's structured. There are rules I'm not used to. They've explained the whys behind each and every one of them and I consent. There is a reason for it all. It's not legalism. It's being considerate of the other 300 people in the room. It's prefering one another over ourselves. It's humility. It's good. It is so good, because in that structure, there is the freedom of God! There is the freedom to meet Him how I meet Him. And there is the assurance that I'm making a way for whoever else is around me to meet Him too.

I can't express the joy of worship here. If I would have come straight from Grace and not been at Victory, I might be weirded out. Imagine a room jam packed FULL of people... the Tuesday 10 and 4 sets are all staff prayer meetings and every single seat is full (or would be full if people weren't pacing, dancing, etc). We go into worship and the entire room is engaged. The sound of clapping when it's the whole room... the vibrations of jumping up and down, the sight of so many raised hands.... I can feel the smile of God! I can feel His pleasure! It's like a "good" service, only it happens all the time here and not just on a particulary good Sunday. I'm not just talking about the high you feel when there's a good worship song playing. We were worshiping in Intro. the other day and I felt a breeze. The kind of breeze you feel when someone walks right by you. I open my eyes and there's no one walking. The air conditioning isn't on. Everyone is still. And I knew that Jesus was walking among us. It was His movement I felt. Sometimes I have to get off the looking up thing during worship. Like I'm straining with my head lifted up, trying to get a glimpse of this really high God. During this past year, Jesus has been teaching me to view Him as a man among us. To look straight ahead. To worship Him like He's near and not far. To worship Him like a lover. Oh it's so good!

We start our actual schedule on Sept. 11th. Hadessah is going to children's tracks at least in the afternoons. She hasn't been taking naps there, so if she doesn't start we're going to have to keep her home in the mornings so she can get a good nap it. I don't want to miss anything in Intro., but I do want her to grow up enjoying the house of prayer. So we'll switch off if we need to, juggle some things around, take turns with a happy heart. We'll see how it goes. I'm still praying she'll start taking naps! (and walking.. for the sake of my back I'm praying she'll start walking) Until Intro is over we won't have much time or focus in the area of the Children's Equipping Center here. We really feel like we need to focus on Intro. right now. You can only impart what you've come to know (not just head knowledge, but know.) After Intro though, we told Lenny we're all his and he's excited. Seriously. I love how genuine people are here. When he says he's excited, he means it!

I know this has been long, so I'll wrap up by saying how awesome it is when you know you're right where God wants you to be. It makes it all worth it with out a doubt.

"Christ in me, Christ in me, Christ in me the hope of glory! You are everything"